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Conflict is never pleasant. As a result, most of us avoid it when we can. At the same time, however, conflict can be very productive, if it is handled appropriately. Here are some do's and don'ts to keep in mind regarding conflict:
DO:
- Use Active Listening skills
- Preplan and rehearse when possible
- Focus on the problem or behavior, NOT the person
- Use problem solving skills
- Recognize the feelings of others
- Ask for what you want
- Ask the other party what he/she wants
- Stick to the problem at hand
DON'T:
- Go into conflict with one preconceived solution
- Go into conflict with assumptions about the other party
- Tell the person what is wrong with him/her
- Advise, diagnose, reassure, criticize, or bait
- Be long-winded
- Cut off communication by giving advice
- Continue when emotions are running high
- Be defensive
Campus Conflict Resources: (for work-related conflict):
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