Preparing Your Child with a Brain Disorder for Adult Life

Helping your child who has a mental illness or brain disorder prepare for life as an independent adult can be a long and challenging process. Since every child is different and every disorder has its own effects on one's capabilities, these tips from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) should be taken as general guidelines rather than specific advice for your child. NAMI also provides support groups and other information for those with mental illness and their families.

The following timeline makes some suggestions about when to begin working on skills and making plans for your child's successful transition from school programs to adult living. Please note that these are only suggestions and that individual readiness will vary for each child based on the degree of impairment. Also, each child's availability to engage in social skills development may be different, so the activities suggested here for any particular age should be introduced and reintroduced regularly until the child is comfortable.

Ages 3 to 5

• Involve your child in social activities. Enroll your child in preschool, religious education, cooperative playgroups or daycare so that the child gets experience socializing with others.
• Evaluate your financial situation. Begin to set aside money to assist your child when he or she makes the transition to adult living. Seek out a financial planner experienced in disability law. Consult a lawyer to construct a will that takes into account the financial planner's suggestions.
• Encourage language and communication. Assist your child in acquiring language skills by seeking help from a speech-language pathologist. Organizations and public agencies such as Child Find and Head Start can provide these important therapeutic services to a child with disabilities. 

Ages 5 to 6

• Encourage inclusion. Consider very carefully what type of schooling your child will receive. Make sure that he or she is included as much as possible in regular school programs. Kindergarten in your neighborhood school should be the first option to explore.
• Explore alternative schools. Special education may seem attractive, but be careful about letting school officials place your child before you inspect the program and speak with the other parents of children with brain disorders who have attended the school previously. Not all alternative schools are appropriate for children with brain disorders.

Ages 6 to 11

• Introduce your child to community activities. Have your child do regular chores as part of the family's activities. Involve your child in neighborhood and community activities, such as scouts, swimming lessons, and story hour at the library. Invite children to your home, and make it a pleasant place for all children to visit.
• Teach your child life skills. Assist your child in learning money management and shopping skills. Make your child responsible for good grooming and selection of clothing to wear. Teach your child to make simple meals, pick up after himself or herself and wash his or her own clothes.
• Evaluate alternative schools. School needs may change during the primary grades. Continue to assess your child's needs during this important developmental period. Not all alternative schools are appropriate for children with brain disorders.
• Begin sex education. As your child grows, help him or her to understand human reproduction and sexual development as a normal part of growing up. Special education classes often leave out important health education classes that include drug and alcohol abuse prevention and sex education.
• Teach your child about his or her disorder. As soon as your child is ready, provide information to your child about his or her brain disorder. Encourage your child to begin to advocate for services he or she enjoys and benefits from. Include your child in the process of developing an individualized education plan (IEP) as early as possible.
• Encourage recreation and sports. Be sure that these activities are included in your child's education plan and after-school pastimes.

Ages 12 to 14

• Consider functional skills versus academic skills. When your child is in middle school, give some thought to how much time the school should spend on academic skills and how much on functional life skills that prepare him or her for the adult world.
• Teach your child to use public transportation. If your community has public transportation, teach your child how to read maps and schedules and how to pay fares.
• Evaluate alternative schools. At this age, special education needs may become more specific while the available programs do not. Many special-education programs also are forced to accommodate students who are violent or who have chemical dependency problems. Be sure the school program you choose has the right fit for your child's specific needs.
• Encourage your child to work. Have your child do volunteer or paid work in the home, neighborhood or community. Assist your child in developing good work habits.

Ages 14 to 16

• Begin formal transition planning at school. Be sure that your child has transition goals written into his or her IEP. Under the reauthorized Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA 1997), transition planning must begin at age 14 for every student who wants to take advantage of transition activities. Include your child in the IEP development process as early as possible. Transition goals should address both work and independent-living skills, as well as any planning for post-secondary education. The earlier transition begins, the better the chances that your child will not drop out of high school.
• Consider the type of high-school program your child will pursue. Examine carefully your child's options for high-school education. Decide whether a certificate of completion or diploma is in your child's best interests. If he or she is likely to graduate and go on to college, be sure that he or she earns graduation credits and completes functional tests required by the state before he or she leaves school. Encourage community-based job training and life-skills training if these are appropriate activities for your child. Involve your child in the decision-making process.
• Evaluate alternative schools. High-school special-education programs frequently are built around dealing with substance-abuse problems or violent behavior. Although these behaviors may be a manifestation of an underlying diagnosis, these youth may not be receiving appropriate medication or therapy. The program may be a behavior-modification program that is not appropriate for your child.

Ages 16 to 18

Involve adult-service agencies. If your child will need vocational-educational support, request from the school appropriate referrals to adult-service agencies, such as the vocational rehabilitation agency of your state department of education. Investigate the adult mental health services in your community.

Ages 18 to 21

Encourage steps toward independence. Where appropriate, encourage gradual movement toward greater personal independence and self-care. Encourage your child to find a job in the community or pursue higher education or vocational training. Support your child in establishing an appropriate living arrangement and becoming involved in leisure activities in the community.

The earlier an individual has the opportunity to live independently, the earlier he or she will be able and willing to take responsibility for obtaining medication, getting to therapy, or attending day programs or post-secondary education classes.

Resources

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

©2022 ComPsych ® Corporation. All rights reserved. This information is for educational purposes only. It is always important to consult with the appropriate professional on financial, medical, legal, behavioral, or other issues. As you read this information, it is your responsibility to make sure that the facts and ideas apply to your situation.