Raising a child involves innumerable aspects. Every day, parents face decision-making challenges in finding the best ways to support their physical and emotional health and keep them safe, while modeling and teaching life skills and responsibilities. There is no "one size fits all" deal. Two areas that make parents wonder how to teach it are: 

• Assigning chores to develop responsibility.
• Granting an allowance to build financial habits.

Should children be paid for doing chores? Should they receive an allowance? Should these two things be integrated? There is no single answer. It depends on your family’s beliefs and priorities, as well as the children’s ages, abilities, and personalities. 

Chores

Most parents agree that children should help with household chores, but there's disagreement about which chores, how many, and at what age children should start. This is subject to the family’s dynamics.

Chores benefit children’s development in multiple ways. Among other things, chores boost their self-esteem and teach them life skills, cooperation, and teamwork. Completing their chores provides them with a sense of accomplishment and confidence.

Younger children are eager helpers. However, parents are so busy that sometimes they avoid or regret allowing them to help with age-appropriate tasks, like picking up their toys and clothes, or cleaning a small spill. Making chores part of the family routine is easier when they start early in life. As children mature, parents can add chores and responsibilities.

Some tips on chores:

• Clearly explain what completing the chore entails, and model it a few times.
• Be fair when assigning chores. The time spent on chores should not jeopardize other activities such as playing, studying, resting, or socializing with family and friends.
• Fairness is not about assigning the same number of chores to everyone, but about considering age, abilities, personality, and time needed for the chore, and the grade of difficulty.
• Avoid repeatedly reminding your child to do the chores. You may remind them once, along with the consequence of not completing it. If they do not comply, let them experience the consequence.
• Have real expectations. Chores do not need to be done perfectly. Allow your child time to master it. It is not about them doing it as you would do it, but doing it the best they could. Coach them as needed without being judgmental.

Allowance

Money management takes time to learn. Children need the chance to learn – and to make mistakes – about money while they are still “safe” under your roof and free from the responsibilities of independence.

Having their “own money” helps them learn the basics of saving, spending, and planning. 

Some tips on allowance:

• Start small. Increase the amount as your child matures.
• Clearly explain to your child their responsibilities with their allowance –
  • Keeping the money safe in a drawer or a designated place.
  • Assign some “expenses” they will have to pay with it (i.e., snacks at school for the younger ones or clothing for teenagers and older children)
  • Saving for extras
  • Anything else you consider applicable

What should I do? 

Begin by clarifying your family’s perceptions of chores. Do you see chores as a family shared responsibility? Are they a practical way to teach lifelong skills such as laundering and cleaning? Are chores seen as a matter of fairness that benefits all family members, and helps maintain an organized household? Or do you view them as an expected duty? Should children be rewarded or motivated with money for doing chores, or should they take pride in doing their part to help the family without financial incentives?

Remember that relying too much on rewards (such as paying for chores) may be beneficial, but only at the beginning. Two possible long-term effects may occur:

1. Children only do it because you paid them to do so, not because they internalize it as their responsibility.
2. Children may decide they do not need the reward (or prefer not to receive it) and therefore, stop doing the chore. 

Chores and allowance are two useful tools, but they work better when kept separate. The goal is for the children to develop the internal motivation to do chores to help the family, and because it is expected and their responsibility, not because they get paid. The allowance is to allow them opportunities to learn how to manage “their money.” 

An effective way to approach these tools is compromise: the child is expected to complete a few weekly duties (make their beds, pick up their toys and clothes, sort the laundry), and they can also expect to receive a set amount of money. Of course, you can ask them to do “extra work/chores” in exchange for additional money. That allows the child the opportunity to plan/save for something bigger. 

Conclusion

It is recommended to keep chores and allowance separate. To successfully assign your child chores and an allowance, remember:

• Children can start helping with chores as early as 2 to 3 years old.
• Allowance should wait until the child is 6 to 8 years old or until the child is mature enough to understand money.
• It is acceptable to pay your child for a “non-regular/extra chore” to save money for a special wish/desired item.
• Chores and allowance should be updated/and increased as the child grows.

Properly used, these two tools will teach your child to be a responsible family member and, eventually, a responsible member of society.