Beyond School Supplies: A Parent's Guide to Physical and Emotional Safety

The approach of a new school year brings me memories of those in which I had a double role to fulfill: as a mother to prepare my daughters for the work ahead, and as a school director to prepare the staff and the facilities to welcome the students.

My “mom’s duties” included buying school supplies, uniforms, and books; scheduling my daughters’ annual check with their pediatrician, along with vaccine updates and vision checks. I mindfully took the time to talk to them. I wanted to prepare them, not only physically, but emotionally too.

As a school director, I reviewed manuals, protocols, inspected facilities, renewed licenses, and provided professional development to the staff. In other words, I also prioritized everyone's physical and emotional safety. 

Parents must understand how interconnected physical and emotional safety are. Even though the strategies may look like two different sets, we need to stay aware of how they rely on each other and affect the outcome of each other. For example, when explaining to the child how to stay safe from strangers, you do not want the child to become fearful of everyone.

This year, I do not have to prepare my children or the school for the new year. However, the “August preparedness” mode is in my veins, and I hope the following suggestions and tips can become a practical parenting guideline for the new school year. These guidelines apply to children from elementary to high school grades. Start simple and continue scaffolding as needed to match not only your child’s age, but their maturity and personality.

Communication – Building Trust 

Maintaining open communication with your child is essential to gain their trust. Without trust, all safety strategies and measures suggested will not be effective. Getting your child’s trust to openly talk about everything takes time. It is never too early to begin it. Work for it daily:

• Let your child know that they can, and should, tell you anything, even if it is something uncomfortable.
• No matter what the child says, do not react, interrupt, or judge. LISTEN! Then take a deep breath and talk about it.
• If the child shares concerning information, reassure them that they did the right thing telling you; acknowledge their feelings; and let them know you will act by either reporting it or taking the needed steps to protect them.
• If needed, find another trusted adult your child can turn to if you are not available or if they prefer to talk to someone else.

Safe Interactions

Talk to your child about strangers. Teach them to always keep physical distance, even if they are “nice” and politely asking, “Have you seen my puppy?” Instruct them to never get too close to someone’s car, even if the person says that a parent/guardian asked them to pick them up. Let them know that no one should make them uncomfortable, nor a stranger, nor even someone they know. No matter who, if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe, they should tell you or another trusted adult immediately. 

• If your child walks alone back home, or does other routines by themselves, tell them to take precautions: to plan a safe route, to connect with other neighbors' children to walk together (buddy system), and know whom they can call if they do not feel safe.
• Teach your child to trust their instincts and “play safe,” to avoid placing themselves in risky situations.
• Friends can help them feel and stay safe. Encourage your child to form friendships based on their character, values, and similar interests. Highlight important traits to look for, like empathy, kindness, and respectful manners.
• The wrong groups can pull your child into risky behaviors. Meet your children’s friends and invite them to your home. It will help you identify possible unpleasant behaviors.
• Empower your child to resist unhealthy peer pressure and to resist bullying towards themselves and others. 

Online, technology, and social media

This is the biggest challenge families face these days. The trends, accessibility, and “rules” in this area change faster than parents can track and address them. It is never too early to start teaching your kids healthy and safe digital skills. 

The American Academy of Pediatrics has created webpages with age-appropriate guidance and content to keep parents updated on all things related to technology and social media: Social Media and Youth Mental Health and Family Media Plan. 

To keep your family safe from the possible harmful effects of technology, remember to:

• Set clear rules and boundaries and closely monitor your children’s media use.
• Model good digital habits. If you are constantly on your smartphone, the child will follow that example no matter what you tell them.
• Talk to your child about cyberbullying.
• Watch unusual behavioral changes.

What’s Next?

Take a pause. Compare the time you spend getting to know and interacting with your child against the time you spend on your phone or work-related chores. I could provide thousands of tips and suggestions to prepare your child for life. But there is only one that matters, and without which, nothing else will help: your time and care. Do not lose your humanity. Develop a strong relationship with your child, so even when life becomes difficult, they feel confident knowing you have their back and that they can overcome all the challenges ahead. 

Talk to your child. Devote time to listening and learn what is on their mind. Start these conversations with your child TODAY. The more you do it, the more comfortable everyone will feel. Converse regularly with them. Begin with short and easy ones in the very first years and adapt them to your child's growth until they become independent beings. Trust me, the bonding created will last forever, and the pleasure of talking with you will become second nature to them.