Reduce stress and increase connection by making these small changes
For the first time in more than two years, your family may be experiencing an “almost normal” back to school. Things have changed in the last few years. Routines like commuting to work and school or preparing lunch boxes were no longer needed, and now you wonder how to reinstall them into your daily schedules.
Parents and children of all ages benefit from routines. Among other things, routines help younger ones feel safe, develop good habits, and help their emotional development. Assigning developmentally appropriate chores to children may seem like an arduous task and a waste of time at first. However, in the end, it not only helps them to establish routines that facilitate daily families’ lives, but it also teaches them responsibility.
Family chores, school, and work responsibilities often leave little time to enjoy other activities with your family. How do other people seem to have “more hours” in their days? Regardless of all the changes, we have experienced lately, there are timeless suggestions that are useful. Good planning can help you maximize your week and support your family’s wellbeing. It is all about TIME:
Think about what routines can improve with some planning.
Identify what can be done ahead of time and who will be in charge.
Mention who will be responsible for the specific chore or task.
Evaluate if the plan is working or not. Reevaluate as needed.
Find the Transitions that Cause Stress
For example, common daily transitions like leaving home in the morning or returning home after a long day can create discomfort, difficulties, and irritability. Therefore, they are often stressful moments in your daily routines. Some planning ahead can ease the transitions.
- Think about all the activities you and your family repeatedly do every morning:
- get dressed,
- have breakfast,
- feed the dog,
- take the trash out,
- grab their backpacks.
- Identify what can be done the night before and who can manage each one. For example, are your children old enough to select and prepare their clothing before going to bed?
- Mandate one family member to feed the dog and another to take the trash out while you fix breakfast. Fix or partially fix lunchboxes the night before. Be sure that everyone knows their chores and ask the younger ones to repeat them back to you.
- It is important to allow a prudent time for everyone to learn their roles and for the plan to settle. However, if after some evaluation, you and your family are not satisfied with it, reevaluate as needed.
Follow the same steps with the returning to home activities.
Create Routines to Establish Consistency
Another good example of the benefits of routines can be one related to eating habits and schedules. I am a true believer in family dinners. Research shows that it provides time to reconnect, relax, share stories, and even reinforce the family values and expectations informally and casually. Children of all ages benefit from these interactions from the vocabulary enhancement in little ones to lower rates of obesity and depression in teenagers.
While we raised our daughters, my husband and I tried our best to have dinner together as often as possible. If one of us could not get home on time, the other oversaw having dinner with them. Usually, one of my children tried to avoid waiting for everyone to sit at the table and shouted: "But I'm hungry!" Although it was nerve-wracking to say the least, unless there was a good reason (like an ailment), we stood firm. Eventually, I can assure you, they stopped challenging us.
Today, as adults, we still enjoy family dinners all together whenever possible. It was a worthy effort. Based on my experiences as a mother and as an educator, I can promise you that the consistency derived from routines, helps children to manage daily tasks and challenges.
Working with children and their families for over 35 years gave me the chance to experience the benefits of routines firsthand. Many children who showed challenging behaviors, improved after their families developed more structured daily routines. Knowing the daily expectations along with a loving but firm discipline, work magically. Therefore, remember to use TIME wisely.
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